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Costa Rica is An Event-Focused Society

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Costa Rica is An Event-Focused Society

I guess I could be accused of being somewhat of a “Pollyanna” when it comes to Costa Rica. I mean even the name of my old blog, 365 Reasons I Love Costa Rica, used to invoke nausea in some of my less optimistic perusers.

I mean, some of you are probably thinking, come on Costa Rica Guy, isn’t there anything you don’t love about the place?

Well, my answer to that is sure one can always find things not to like anywhere.

But why focus on those things?

What joy does it bring to your life to focus on the negative?

Anthony Robbins (the motivational guy with the big teeth), whose teachings helped give birth to my unbridled optimism, often does a little exercise where he tells people to find everything in the room that is brown. Then he will have you close your eyes and tell him all the stuff in the room that is green and red and orange and blue, etc. Generally no one can remember those things because their focus was only on the brown…

Ah ha, you see the moral of the story is why would one want to go around focusing only on the brown…

the so-called “feces” of life, when there are so many vibrant and beautiful colors.

That is certainly true here in Costa Rica.

Sure there’s plenty of brown, but for me the vibrant greens and reds and blues (the things I write about in many posts) drown out the brown.

So, to get back to the topic of today’s post, I am writing about an aspect of culture here in Costa Rica that can sometimes be humorous and other times be maddening…just to please those potential readers out there who demand to hear about something that could have a tinge of negativism.

And that is the fact that Costa Rica is an event-focused society. Or, at least the the culture here tends to be “event-focused” to a far greater extent than what most North Americans will be accustomed to.

What is an “event-focused” society you ask?

The best way for me to describe it is with an example.

Take a minor fender-bender for instance. When that happens in the middle of one of San Jose’s busiest intersections, guess what occurs next? The two vehicles involved remain precisely in the position of the accident for hours while they wait on the INS guy (the national insurance company) to arrive on his moped to inspect and assess damages…

In the meantime, the largest traffic jam in the history of the world is occurring, but the principal players in the accident, the drivers, the police and, of course, the INS guy, remain completely oblivious to what is going on around them. I mean women are giving birth in cars and shit.

Why?

Because of their intense focus on the event…the minor fender-bender.

Why don’t they just move the damn cars out of the road?

Because in an event-focused society one does not take action to alleviate the repercussions, or aftershocks, simultaneously occurring due to the event. One remains focused exclusively and intently on the event itself.

Another example are the many fairs (or ferias in Spanish) that take place everywhere seemingly every weekend. It seems that there’s no thought whatsoever put into planning in order to alleviate the havoc that closing off every single potential ingress and egress has on people that need to get from point A to point B.

Why?

Again, because it is all about the event, the feria. What is happening on the periphery of the event is never of any importance in an event-focused society.

I could provides scads of additional examples showing that Costa Rica is an event-focused society. Such as the habit almost all ticos have of stopping their cars, literally in the middle of the road, putting their flashers on, and carrying on a cell phone conversation, or whatever “event” that motivated them to stop…

Of course there are also advantages to this event-focused-ness in that it can make some events all the more engaging.

Hell, you better get engaged because to try not to be is certainly to be swimming upstream! Much better to join than fight.

So there you have it, a “potential” negative about my beloved Costa Rica.

Satisfied?!

What can you do about this phenomenon that Costa Rica is an event-focused society?

Absolutely nothing, but sit back and just chuckle to oneself. It is the culture here and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles in Costa Rica.

My advice is to just smile and “focus the green.”

Pura Vida!

The Freedom to be Unpretentious

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I can be critical of developed country cultures (without naming names). Are you put off by that?

After all, I am from the U.S. and I guess in many ways I’m the proverbial pot who called the kettle black.

I admit that, being a gringo, I’m often guilty of pretentiousness myself. It’s my way of denying (to the world and to myself) how average and unheroic I really am.

Pretentious is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as…”expressive of affected, unwarranted, or exaggerated importance, worth, or stature.”

My frequent observation of those from the U.S. that try to make the cultural transition to life in Costa Rica, is that their pretentiousness is not so much in trying to be someone they’re not (that’s what they do at home among friends). It’s in trying too hard to convey that they are from a place that is far better off economically and that puts them in a superior position vis a vis the rest of the world.

It’s the attitude of “looking down” or “talking down” to anyone who does not speak, look, dress, smell, or act just like they do.

The truth is that where you were born, or where you went to school, or what you scored on the SAT, your socio-economic position or any number of other such “feathers in your cap” do not make you better than the next person.

They only make your experience of life different.

Whenever I feel I must don my own “feathery cap of pretentiousness,” I believe that’s just me trying to draw attention away from my unlimited human inadequacies.

And we’re all just human.

My experience of Latin America has largely been limited to my time here in Costa Rica and frequent visits to other countries such as Nicaragua, Panama and Colombia.

With noted exceptions, usually from those of the “higher classes,” the society here is decidedly unpretentious. Costa Ricans are quite comfortable being exactly who they are socially, economically, morally and in every other way.

There is not a sense, at least I don’t feel it, of having to “keep up with the Joneses.”

I have to admit that this competitive aspect of U.S. culture keeps me here in Costa Rica*.

In Costa Rica I can be poor and damn proud of it!

Here what you have, materially speaking, is not the measuring stick of what you’re “worth” and that is refreshing.

Is that 100% true in all cases? No and especially not in certain areas of San Jose, where U.S. culture and influence are very strong.

But San Jose is not Costa Rica and by and large outside of the social and business scene of that city, there is a liberating lack of pretentiousness. No one is going to judge you by what kind of car you drive, or job you have, or how big your house is.

They will judge you by how big of a smile you wear and whether you know how to be polite and, especially, based on your humility.

Being unpretentious means having the ability to laugh at yourself. It is to have an awareness of who you are and to be comfortable in being just that person.

In Costa Rica you have the freedom to be unpretentious and just be yourself…as long as you let others do the same.

Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than pretend to be somebody and have no food.

Proverbs 12:9 (NIV)

image credit:bayucca (busy) via Compfight cc

Costa Rica Culture of Politeness

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Palabra Magica

Costa Rican society is decidedly polite compared to that of the U.S.  It might be the biggest area of reverse culture shock one will experience after being here for a long time and then returning to the U.S.  At least, that has been my experience.  Some describe Costa Rica culture as “passive-aggressive.” I prefer to just call it polite, since no one ever really knows what is going on behind a smile, but it’s still a more pleasant experience than a scowl.

Now there are exceptions to every rule.  Those apply here on the streets, avenues and highways.  Just put the most polite, well refined Tico behind the steering wheel of an automobile, and it is like pouring water on a “gremlin” (you remember those lovable little creatures from that early Spielberg kid-flick?).  Yea, they become little demons hell-bent on destruction.  But outside of that environment, politeness rules.

I am still trying to adapt, because sometimes I just don’t feel like being polite.  Those times are usually when I am too wrapped up in what is going on in my life at the moment (or in my head) to take the time to try to brighten someone’s day with a simple, disculpe, por favor, or gracias.  Here folks are just polite, even when they may not be having the best day.  It is not as if they are “faking it.”  The politeness comes natural.  In the culture of the U.S., you can readily tell when someone is faking it, can’t you?  You know, the so-called “courtesy laugh” at that joke you blew, or the “courtesy smile” when lurking just behind it is seething cynicism.

I am one of those persons that tends to wear his emotions on his shirt sleeve and that does not always go over so well in this culture.  I am learning to be naturally polite, because I admit I am not (as any of my friends here will attest).  I am polite when and if I feel like it.  The Spanish language of politeness does not roll off the tip of my tongue as easily as “hey that’ll be 20 dollars of super and check the oil while you’re at it.”

But politeness will get you further in Costa Rica.  It will open doors that sometimes appear to be shut to gringo expats who haven’t learned the language of politeness yet.  It will develop and strengthen relationships. It will make you feel better because you are making others feel better.  Because in reality life is not all about us, is it?

To refuse to learn to adapt to this culture of politeness is to remain in the cynical and pessimistic world where one always demands that his needs be met and to hell with anyone else. That does not go over so well down here.

So take a tip from the Costa Rica Guy and make your first Spanish lesson be to learn the language of politeness. And the “palabra mágica” is……P-O-R F-A-V-O-R.

Gracias, Adios!

Living on Tico Time

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North Americans are often aghast at the cultural attitudes of the Ticos about punctuality. It is said in Costa Rica that if you arrive on time to a scheduled meeting you are “early.”  If you arrive thirty minutes late you are “on time.”  And only if you arrive MORE than thirty minutes late are you, well, “late.”

There are some practical reasons for this, which are especially true in San Jose, as well as everywhere else. For instance, the traffic is at times absolutely atrocious (as are the roads in many areas) and getting from Point A to B takes about double the time you’re probably used to.

You are probably thinking well maybe, BUT you have to take all that into account and leave early enough so as to anticipate delays and still be punctual.  For those of you thinking that, what follows is good advice.  If you are going to come down here with that attitude, please stay home!!!

We just don’t think that far ahead down here.  We would rather burn our brain cells on other more important matters. Just look at my friend Mack in the picture above.  Does he look like he is worried about making it on time to his next scheduled meeting?  Of course not!!  He is engaged in a much more worthy pursuit, like kicking back with a cold Imperial.

An area where “Tico Time” is most evident is the never ending wait for the bill (or cuenta) when you complete your meal at virtually any restaurant in the country.  Now we  gringos are used to receiving the bill (or having it shoved down our throats) even before we have tasted the last morsel.  Not in Costa Rica, however.  If you are waiting to receive the bill get ready to wait a long long time.

Why is this?

Well in Costa Rica it is considered rude and socially unacceptable to bring the bill before being asked. In Costa Rica culture all social problems are resolved by talking it through for hours after finishing the meal.  Therefore, if you want the bill you have to say, repeat after me, “la cuenta por favor.”

And please always say please, because the culture here is very polite.  “Gracias” and “por favor” are always expected and appreciated.

Another phrase you might hear in Costa Rica regarding time is “hay mas tiempo que vida.”  That means that there is “more time than life,” which is great thought to always carry with you, wherever you are…

It signifies a focus that is more on the living than on the time which it occupies.

Pura Vida!

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